Gini Nelson's Engaging Conflicts

In 2007, Engaging Conflicts will continue to center on issues identified by Bernie Mayer’s Beyond Neutrality: Confronting the Crisis in Conflict Resolution, Chris Honeyman’s Theory to Practice work (focusing on his new book, The Negotiator’s Fieldbook: the Desk Reference for the Experienced Negotiator, co-edited with Andrea Kupfer Schneider), and the October 2006 Keystone Consolidating Our Collective Wisdom conference; as well as my Wikis and Podcasts and Blogs, Oh My! program – use of the new social media on the internet for professional, personal and business development. I’ll provide Tips, Treats, and Tools, and talk about Health, Conflict and Stress, on occasion, too.

Some Guest Bloggers In 2007

Planned guest bloggers for 2007 include Kristine Paranica, J.D., Administrative Director and Fellow of the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation (ISCT) on transformative mediation and practice; and John Lande, J.D., Director of the Master of Laws Program In Dispute Resolution at the University of Missouri-Columbia School of Law, on cooperative law, as distinguished from collaborative law.

In Engaging Conflicts Today, the newsletter (subscribe by clicking in the sidebar!), I’ve planned interviews with Bernie Mayer, John Paul Lederach, Robert Benjamin, Chris Honeyman, Janis Magnuson (of Janis Publications), Diane Levin (of the Online Guide To Mediation blog), Jack Cooley, John Stephens, Ann Gosline, and Howard Gadlin, among others. And, as I said, The Negotiator’s Fieldbook, Chris Honeyman’s and Andrea Kupfer Schneider’s new book, will also be highlighted in 2007 (in both the newsletter and in the blog), with reviews, summaries and interviews.

Here at the blog’s new home, you’ll see the administrative categories tabbed across the topbar (Welcome, Contact, Why Engaging Conflicts?, Guest Bloggers, RSS FAQ). The first box at the top of the right sidebar lets you search the blog using keywords. You can then bookmark the blog at Technorati (use the green icon); subscribe to the blog for free at FeedBurner (use the orange icon); and then subscribe to Engaging Conflicts Today by clicking on the blue hyperlinked “Free Engaging Conflicts Newsletter!” I have fewer categories. Also, each post now allows linking with 13 different social content and social bookmarking websites, e.g., del.icio.us, digg and smarking. (If you don’t know what any of these terms and options are, spend some time in the Wikis and Podcasts and Blogs, Oh My! category!. Finally, I’ve disabled commenting, to help save the site from robotic spamming – write me privately, and I’ll respond, though.

REMEMBER: Try something new for the New Year — subscribe to Engaging Conflicts! If you’d like to learn more about RSS or web feeds from a podcast or blog consumer’s point of view, visit our RSS FAQ.

Today’s issue of Engaging Conflicts Today includes the conclusion of Ken Cloke’s interview, and an excerpt of my book review of his new book, The Crossroads of Conflict: A Journey Into the Heart Of Dispute Resolution. The review is being published in full today in the Colorado Council of Mediators November newsletter, and is pending publication in the Peer Bulletin, a monthly newsletter for Peer Resources Network members. If you would like to get both parts of Ken’s interview, and aren’t already a subscriber to Engaging Conflicts Today, please do two things: subscribe to the newsletter, and send an email with “Cloke” in the subject line to gn@gnconflictmanagement.com. You can subscribe through the box provided in the sidebar on the right!

Here’s the final piece of Kenneth Cloke’s locations of conflict and related mediation techniques, taken from his new book, The Crossroads of Conflict: A Journey Into the Heart Of Dispute Resolution. Ken’s personal interview begins in this week’s issue of my newsletter, Engaging Conflicts Today — you can subscribe through the box provided in the sidebar on the right!

The remaining locations of conflict (at 71), and some suggested mediation techniques for each ‘by location” (at 78-85):

5. In our hearts, where attitudes become closed or open, withholding or forthcoming, self-centered or compassionate, revengeful or forgiving (heart techniques assisting people in engaging in heartfelt conversations and reaching reconciliation, such as asking direct, honest questions that encourage integrity and trust). (Note: according to Ken, this is where the greatest deficit in current models of mediation exists).

6. And in our systems, where cultures, contexts, conditions, and environments become adversarial or egalitarian, competitive or collaborative, autocratic or democratic (systems design techniques that attempt to resolve the systemic, contextual, cultural, and environmental sources of conflict in ways that can prevent future conflicts, such as using dialogue, coaching, and mentoring to alter entrenched behavior patterns).

Ken’s book can be purchased directly from his publisher, Janis Publications, here: http://www.janispublications.com.

Note: The book is also available at your local libraries and bookstores, and online through my Amazon.com link in the right-hand sidebar.

This continues the excerpt from Kenneth Cloke’s new book, The Crossroads of Conflict: A Journey Into the Heart Of Dispute Resolution, on locations of conflict, with suggested mediation techniques for each:

3. In our emotions, where anger, fear, jealousy, guilt, shame, and grief emanate and strive for release (emotional techniques using a subtle, sensitive, facilitative, empathetic approach, such as searching for emotional triggers).

4. In our spirits, where intentions, energy, life force, or chi become attached, intolerant, or unforgiving (spiritual techniques assisting people to move beyond resolution to forgiveness and increased mindfulness or awareness, such as asking questions that encourage responsibility for intentions, attitudes and choices).

See Monday’s post for the final two locations. Ken’s book can be purchased directly from his publisher, Janis Publications, here: http://www.janispublications.com.

Note: The book is also available at your local libraries and bookstores, and online through my Amazon.com link in the right-hand sidebar.

I’m interviewing Ken in the next issue of Engaging Conflicts Today — sign up in the sidebar to the right!

Kenneth Cloke’s The Crossroads of Conflict: A Journey Into the Heart Of Dispute Resolution, is a book by an experienced mediator about many things, including his conclusions after many years of a rich and varied practice. Ken’s interview begins in the next issue of Engaging Conflicts Today, and he has given permission to excerpt portions of his book here — sign up for the newsletter today through the sidebar on the right!

Here’s part of his list of explanations why we get stuck in conflict, of distinct yet indivisible locations of conflict (at 71), and some suggested mediation techniques for each “by location” (at 78-85):

1. In our physical bodies, where stress is internalized and translated into chemicals that prepare us for aggression or defense (physical techniques that pay attention to body language, physical movement, and sensory awareness, such as using body language to counteract aggressive or defensive postures).

2. In our minds, where distinctions and judgments are formed that bolster our positions and justify aggressive or defensive reactions (mental techniques that resolve conflicts mentally, logically, sequentially, and intellectually, such as contracting and agreeing to work toward solutions).

I’ll be posting the rest over the next few days. Ken’s book can be purchased directly from his publisher, Janis Publications, here: http://www.janispublications.com.

Note: The book is also available at your local libraries and bookstores, and online through my Amazon.com link in the right-hand sidebar.

Last week I posted the first five of “ten paths to transcendence” identified in Kenneth Cloke’s new book, The Crossroads of Conflict: A Journey Into the Heart Of Dispute Resolution (see last week’s post for the first five and for Ken’s definition of transcendence). Here are the final five:

[Five of the] Ten Paths to Transcendence:

6. Craft a question that asks people to speak and listen directly from their heart

7. Work collaboratively to redesign and reform the cultures and systems that produced or reinforced the conflict.

8. Clarify and reinforce what was learned from the conflict, and use it to improve and evolve to higher levels of conflict and resolution.

9. Move the conversation toward forgiveness and reconciliation.

10. Design and execute a ritual of release, completion, and closure.

Ken’s book can be purchased directly from his publisher, Janis Publications.

Note: The book is also available at your local libraries and bookstores, and online through my Amazon.com link in the right-hand sidebar.

Kenneth Cloke’s new book, The Crossroads of Conflict: A Journey Into the Heart Of Dispute Resolution, is a book by an experienced mediator about many things, including his conclusions after many years of a rich and varied practice. Ken will be interviewed this fall and early winter in Engaging Conflicts Today, and has given permission to excerpt portions of his book here. Here’s a partial list of philosophical assumptions he makes about conflict — the earlier propositions were posted earlier in the week: